Who are the Worst Wine Drinkers?
Some people just give us sophisticated, hard working, and respectful wine drinkers a bad name. Those people should be stoned to death, but not using stones. Instead they should use Keystone Light cans. Those Keystone Light cans are probably cheaper than stones! There are two types of people that really get on my nerves, the cheapskate, and the wine complainer.
Who seriously drinks wine because it cheap? Apparently these guys. That bottle of wine costs literally $10, and you’ll get absolutely plastered. Drinking a gallon of wine is no joke.
Drinking wine shouldn’t be about getting retarded, but instead about enjoying the taste with in a social atmosphere. If you just want to get tipsy than the cheapest way to get there is by drinking some tequila.
Of course there aren’t many college campuses with people drinking El Toro. El Toro happens to be one of the cheapest tequilas around, and will really mess you up.
These gallon wine drinkers are mostly composed of college kids, but they certainly still give us professionals a bad rap. I’m sure college girls will flock to their dorm rooms when they hear they have wine. I’m also positive that these college boys know exactly that!
The Wine Complainers
There is another whole category of wine drinkers that really bother us over at Painted Rocks Winery, and that’s the complainers. The complainers are known to browse our shelves looking for the perfect wine for hours. These suckers will ask for help for the sole purpose of re-educating our staff about wine. After the re-education take place they will then dismiss them with a wave of their finger, and go on browsing.
Sophistication + Asshole = The Wine Complainer
These guys will stop at nothing to leave the store without buying anything. Often this rare species of assholes come in pairs. Usually, one girl and one guy. The guy is more often than not the antagonist, and the girl usually goes a long with the whole situation. I want you to take a moment to think about the most ghetto people you’ve ever seen in Walmart.
Take these two lovely Walmart shoppers with their empty cart, and what seems to be a raccoon on one of their shoulders.
Now add the following:
- $500 of Brookes Brothers Clothing
- $200 worth of cologne & perfume
- $125,000 car that their parents paid for
- $120,000 of college debt that they could care less about
- $50,000 in plastic credit
Combine that with a know it all attitude, and nothing better to to… You’ve got the Wine Complainer. This person’s sole purpose as noted above is to walk out of the store without buying anything. We deal with these people about twice a week, but because of how review savvy these saddlebags are we need to be extra courteous. Even though we’d love to have the “Fuck You” attitude from the movie “The Gambler” we need to rely on our good reputation to drive our sales. Having one asshole make a mockery of us on the internet isn’t going to do us any good.
In summary… get off your high horse, and get up from the bottom of the barrel. Don’t just talk about drinking wine, or lure girls into your dorm room with the words wine, but instead actually drink good quality wine. Enjoy your wine, enjoy your great company, and engage in interesting conversation.
Note: It is not our intent to upset anyone in particular with this article. If you feel like this is harsh, and would like to express yourself. Don’t hesitate to contact us by clicking here.