The Best Wine Drinkers

The best of the best, top of the list, finest pen in the case, or simply “numero uno” is a title seldom given, but much deserved.  The best wine drinkers have certain qualities that other drinkers don’t.

  • They know how to pair wines very well.
  • These experts will properly taste a wine.
  • They’ll take care of their hostesses for giving the very best wines for their occasion.
  • They dress well, and carry themselves in such a manner that you can just smell the expertise.

To be complete honest – most wine drinkers come from Connecticut!  The people in CT just have some of the best customs when it comes to wine. They drink it slowly, laugh heavily, and enjoy greatly.

Here at Painted Rocks Winery, we know that each wine should be enjoyed.  Beer drinkers just drink to get drunk.  Real wine drinkers will drink for pure enjoyment.

Top Wines of 2015

We have had one hell of a year at Painted Rocks Winery, and as the Wine Spectator released their Top 100 Wines of 2015 we had to give our honest opinion.  As you can tell from our previous blog posts such as “Best Wine Drinkers” and “Why Wine is number Whone” we’re very opinionated.  But we’re opinionated about the right things!

aalto wineWine Spectator puts the top Wine of 2015 as “Au Paradis” by the Peter Michael Winery.  I have to say that we agree with that choice.  We’d love it to be the “Pinot de blan” from Pain
ted Rocks Winery, but the Peter Michael Winery did an amazing job this year.

Most of the top 10 wines of 2015 is right on.  The Wine Spectator job did a great job at picking them all out except for one.  Aalto shouldn’t even be in the top 25 wines!  We were very surprised to see Aalto take the 6th spot in the top 10 wines.  I’m not sure how such a prestigious organization such as Wine Spectator got a beer drinker into their wine tasting, but the Aalto is something my cousin Vinny would drink while watching Nascar.

Win it with Wine

Have you been to a playoff Basketball, Football or Bqw3aseball game before?  If you have then you know exactly what I’m talking about, but if you haven’t I’m sure you can imagine this.  Imagine paying good money for seats to watch the ball game, and outside of the corner of your eye you see a glass box.  Inside that glass box is a bunch of big shots who aren’t even watching the game.  Their eating the finest cuts of meat while drinking expensive wine.

The idea behind serving good wine at these events is to add a touch of class while getting your buyer wasted on his ass.  You won’t see these CEOs and top executives throwing back tequila shots or shotgunning keystone light beers like those cheapstakes I mentioned previously in this blog.

Big Business CEOs

The guys hanging out in those glass boxes at the top or bottom (Legends Club) are the big shots.  They are serious businessmen.  My husband would love to be up there hanging with the big boys, but he’s a carpet cleaner by trade.  I have to say, he actually does very well as a carpet cleaner, and he’s won various awards in town.  His website is very popular and generates him a lot of new business.

Yankees Baseball

His phone is ringing off the hook for people who want their carpet steam cleaned, but I still doubt he’ll be visiting the legends club anytime soon.  He doesn’t even care for getting trashed.

My husband likes to enjoy his wine slowly sipped.  On top of that – don’t even try to get in front of him when his Yankees are on!  You’ll be on his shit list for the next year if he misses even a second his game.

Wine Makes Deals Happen

Believe it or not, but the seller who’s treating those big CEOs and executives to the most exquisite wines on this planet is making a pitch.  The whole time he is pre-closing, finding their leverage, and making his pitch.  Most alcohols have a rather bad affect on the body and will cause you to fall over, but wine doesn’t.

Cheap wine may be the culprit to couple bumps and bruises but you can count on dirt cheap tequila to be on the most wanted listed for causing terrible accidents.  Great wine makes you feel good, honest, happy, and almost giddy.  That’s why these salespersons keep pouring on the good stuff.

To make a sale you want your buyer to be immersed in the moment.  The best sales are made when games are won.  The excitement of a good game finishing up in the 9th inning, and the crowd roaring so loud that you can hear it through the glass makes your heart pound.  An easy “Lets get that agreement signed” is delicately placed right after the excitement happens, but before everyone starts to go home.

Beer doesn’t make deals

When is the last time you heard a huge deal go down after having a Miller lite?  Keep thinking, that’s right – never.   I bet that you couldn’t even imagine that happening.  The more likely scenario is two rednecks fighting over who can have the last beer.  Beer don’t have the same class as wine.  Great things happen under the influence of wine, not beer, and that’s why wine is number “whone”!

Who are the Worst Wine Drinkers?

Some people just give us sophisticated, hard working, and respectful wine drinkers a bad name.  Those people should be stoned to death, but not using stones.  Instead they should use Keystone Light cans.  Those Keystone Light cans are probably cheaper than stones!  There are two types of people that really get on my nerves, the cheapskate, and the wine complainer.

The Cheapskate

Cheap WineWho seriously drinks wine because it cheap?  Apparently these guys.  That bottle of wine costs literally $10, and you’ll get absolutely plastered.  Drinking a gallon of wine is no joke.

Drinking wine shouldn’t be about getting retarded, but instead about enjoying the taste with in a social atmosphere. If you just want to get tipsy than the cheapest way to get there is by drinking some tequila.

Of course there aren’t many college campuses with people drinking El Toro.  El Toro happens to be one of the cheapest tequilas around, and will really mess you up.

These gallon wine drinkers are mostly composed of college kids, but they certainly still give us professionals a bad rap.  I’m sure college girls will flock to their dorm rooms when they hear they have wine.  I’m also positive that these college boys know exactly that!

The Wine Complainers

There is another whole category of wine drinkers that really bother us over at Painted Rocks Winery, and that’s the complainers.  The complainers are known to browse our shelves looking for the perfect wine for hours.  These suckers will ask for help for the sole purpose of re-educating our staff about wine.  After the re-education take place they will then dismiss them with a wave of their finger, and go on browsing.

Sophistication + Asshole = The Wine Complainer

These guys will stop at nothing to leave the store without buying anything.  Often this rare species of assholes come in pairs.  Usually, one girl and one guy.  The guy is more often than not the antagonist, and the girl usually goes a long with the whole situation.  I want you to take a moment to think about the most ghetto people you’ve ever seen in Walmart.


Take these two lovely Walmart shoppers with their empty cart, and what seems to be a raccoon on one of their shoulders.

Now add the following:

  • $500 of Brookes Brothers Clothing
  • $200 worth of cologne & perfume
  • $125,000 car that their parents paid for
  • $120,000 of college debt that they could care less about
  • $50,000 in plastic credit

Combine that with a know it all attitude, and nothing better to to…  You’ve got the Wine Complainer.  This person’s sole purpose as noted above is to walk out of the store without buying anything.  We deal with these people about twice a week, but because of how review savvy these saddlebags are we need to be extra courteous.  Even though we’d love to have the “Fuck You” attitude from the movie “The Gambler” we need to rely on our good reputation to drive our sales.  Having one asshole make a mockery of us on the internet isn’t going to do us any good.

In summary…  get off your high horse, and get up from the bottom of the barrel.  Don’t just talk about drinking wine, or lure girls into your dorm room with the words wine, but instead actually drink good quality wine.  Enjoy your wine, enjoy your great company, and engage in interesting conversation.

Note:  It is not our intent to upset anyone in particular with this article.  If you feel like this is harsh, and would like to express yourself.  Don’t hesitate to contact us by clicking here.

Who are the Best Wine Drinkers?

Wine drinkers are not always alike.  When you image you a wine drinker you’ll often get a picture in your head of some sophisticated guy with glasses talking about philosophy.  This guy is probably a writer of some aspect or works on wall street. Hipster You’d definitely imagine someone like this hipster to your left as the average wine drinker.

Sure he enjoys his wine, but I think he enjoys looking smug, and sophisticated more.  Who are the real wine drinkers?

Real Wine Drinkers

Last weekend we had a bunch of blue collar workers stop over our winery.  By the look of them you’d figure they were just a bunch of guys trying to score a box of cheap wine.  You’d never imagine three tree workers showing up at a winery to get the most exquisite red that we have available.

I asked the guy in charge, Bill if this was for his wife.  He replied “my wife likes that Mike’s hard shit, this is for me.”  I was shocked, but it turns out that these rough looking guys were serious wine drinkers.  They were real wine drinkers.

Bill and his Tree Service Company the are very knowledgeable about two things: tree removal and good wine.  Cutting down trees is hard work, from sitting in the sun all day to keeping up with the physical side of lugging around tree branches.

He says that the guys who drink beers after work always come the in the next morning tired.  Bill let us in on a little secret.  The Tree Pros drink good wine at night after a job well done, and they never get hungover!  He says any wine over $200 a bottle won’t give you a hangover, even if you drink 3-4 bottles yourself.

Real Men Drink Wine

You heard that right – real men drink wine.  These words came right out of Bill’s mouth who is 6 feet tall, and weighs in at a cool 290 pounds.  Needless to say he’s a big guy.  His forearms are about the size of my thighs.  I was thoroughly impressed that he was owning up to his obsession with wine in front of me.  Think about it – this giant talking about exquisite wine little me standing at five feet, one and half inches.

He wasn’t the least bit embarrassed to talk about this wine collection. I let him know that I’d be doing a blog post on my experience that day.  Bill said that I better call out his competitors too, because they don’t really start working till 10:00am. Ten o’clock is when the beer hangover wears off.

I won’t say any names about his competitors, but its safe to say that Bill does really well.  He’s got to have a more than stellar tree company if he’s buying 10-12 $200 bottles of wine every week!

Wine – The Ultimate Drink

Don’t get me wrong – we’ll always love our wine.  No matter if it’s the worst thing for you on the planet.  I drink wine everyday, and so do most of the people who work at the Painted Rocks Winery.  Working, wining, dining – that’s what life is all about.  Check out this informational article from our boy Lance Armstrong over there at Livestrong for a Beer vs Wine Calorie count.

One second though, before you start clicking that link or learning about calories.  Be honest with yourself, do you care about calories or social stature?  Check out our pros & cons to decide for yourself.

Pros of being a wine drinker!

  1. You are sophisticated (or at least look like it!)
  2. You’re health conscious (think about all those antioxidants)
  3. When drinking wine at a bar you’ll attract more respectable guys
  4. You are smart! (only smart people can spell chardonnay)
  5. It’s paleo (crossfit guys are hot)

Cons of being a wine drinker!

  1. It’s more expensive than bud-light
  2. A wine hangover can be the worst thing in the world
  3. When drinking wine at a bar (speaking to you men) you better not cross those legs or you might get hit on by another guy
  4. You only act smart (fancy names of wine won’t get you very far)
  5. It’s paleo (you might have to join crossfit if you date crossfit guys and that sounds like work)

Same on the Beer Drinkers

There are way too many people in this country that are still drinking beers.  I can’t believe that bud light is even able to sell beers anymore.  I tried it once, and spit it out.  That small taste of beer was absolutely disgusting.  Focus up people!  May I present to you the pros & cons of beer drinking.

The Pros of being a beer drinker!

  1. Cheap (you can totally buy 30 then drink them all)
  2. Super social (who doesn’t love going to crowded bar with low lifes ~ sarcasm)
  3. Makes you fat (I know you’re thinking “ahem, don’t you think that should be on the con list.”  I firmly disagree with your statement, not only because of how rude you said it, but the fact that fat beer drinkers like other fat beer drinkers.)
  4. It’s not paleo (you have escaped the cross fit cult)
  5. You get to wear shirts with beer logos on them

The Cons of being a beer drinker!

  1. You get fat, and no one wants you ever.  (except for other fat losers who drink beer)
  2. You’re just sub par on the social scale.  (Vin Diesel doesn’t grab a bud light in real life)
  3. It’s not paleo (its not like you’d do crossfit anyway!)
  4. You’re wearing a shirt with a beer logo on it.  (but heck, when did people ever take you seriously?)

Wine Wins

As you can tell from the pros & cons above the winner is Wine.  You’re life just gets so much better with wine.  Being a wine drinker allows you to be friends with people who are higher up on the food chain.  The higher up you go on the food chain the better money you’ll make.  Money doesn’t necessarily bring happiness, but it does bring wine.  More expensive wine brings happiness.


The staff of Painted Rocks Winery love their wine, but hate the bad reputation that social drinking receives from the public. We do not condone any drinking and driving that you may or may not do.  In our comments section please hesitate from boasting about any drunken escapades.  This website is for intelligent conversation and laughs only.

We advise all of those who enjoy their wine as much as we do to make the proper accommodations when driving home from a Bar after a great night.  The best way to avoid an accident on the way home is to give those keys away.

Moderation is a key facet of life.  You shouldn’t drive too fast.  You shouldn’t eat too much of this or that.  Our opinion is that you should indulge in life’s goodies.  Drive as fast as you want as long as you’re not putting other people’s lives at risk.  Eat all you want, and most of all drink all the wine you could ever desire.

Warning #2

On a lighter note – enjoy your time here.  Our second warning is that if you love it then you must share it.  We’re huge Pinterest lovers here which expect the same out of you, our viewers.  Love an article?  Share it with your friends & family.  Hate an article, share that too.  We lose some constructive criticism for our content.  However if you really have a ton of angst against our writing then feel free to contact us here.

We encourage discussion between our viewers.  The topic of wine should always be a social one.  Whether you’re an experienced connoisseur or taking a step away from the box wines into something a little better than we are ready for you!

Wine Less, Enjoy More

This website is designed for you to take your experience with wine to a new level.  Our promise to you is that you’ll no longer have to wine about your less than satisfying pick.  You’ll know which wines pair best with which dishes.  In turn you’ll get an opportunity to purchase wines through one of our affiliates.

Regardless if you choose to buy through us or not; we love talking about wine with interesting people.  Notice there may be a digression of topic from time to time, because as you know things get a little sloppy after the 3rd or 4th glass.  If you notice an extreme digression please comment below or contact us directly.

Often times we have different guest writers creating new articles on our website.  We like to make sure our content is relevant.


Welcome to Painted Rocks Winery – your destination for everything wine.  We hope that you enjoy your stay.  We will be updating this website with all the latest information, greatest laughs and user-friendly articles.